How Stoics approach adversity
The Stoic Approach to Adversity
Ever had one of those days where everything seems to just fall apart? You spill coffee on your white shirt just as you are about to walk out the door, your inbox is overflowing, and just when you think it can’t get worse, it happens, you hit unexpected traffic on your way to work, and now you are going to be late for that important meeting. Frustrating, to say the least, right?
But what if I told you those obstacles or challenges are not just setbacks — they are potential opportunities in disguise? That’s exactly what the Stoics believed, particularly Marcus Aurelius, who famously wrote, “The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.” In other words, the things that slow us down, frustrate us, or challenge us are not barriers. They are the growth path, they are the path forward.
Amor Fati: The Art of Loving Obstacles or Challenges
The Stoic principle of Amor Fati — which translates to “love of fate” — teaches us to embrace everything that happens, good or bad, as part of our journey. It’s not just about accepting obstacles but actually loving them because they shape us into something stronger. Just as the saying, “Iron sharpens Iron”. Imagine if, instead of running away from a big challenge or obstacle, we learn to lean into them, asking, “What can I learn from this?” Because the reality is, all things in life have a lesson to be taught, it’s just weather or not we are open to it that determines if we learn or not.
Applying This to Work and Life
Let’s look at an example and how it can affect us. At work, you have put in for that new job, a promotion you thought you were right for. Then, they choose someone else for the role. Yeah, it stings; there is no way around that. But instead of seeing it as a dead-end, what if you viewed it as a chance to grow? Perhaps it’s an opportunity to sharpen your skills, network differently, or even realize that your true calling lies elsewhere.
In my personal experience, this is exactly what happened. Through my early career disappointments, I discovered the power of reframing setbacks and allowing them to be my pathway for growth. When I was passed over for a leadership position despite my qualifications — solely due to the seniority of the other candidate — I was frustrated. I knew I was the right one. So, you can say I stood at a crossroad, one familiar I imagine others have also faced. Rather than giving up and staying in frustration, I chose a path of both humility and a renewed purpose. This rejection became the spark that pushed me to go back and finish my degree, I had taken some time off due to children and life. What I gained through this realignment of perspective, of seeing the challenge as my pathway to growth, gave me a new life. Within a year, another role came open, and I got it. I had just finished my degree. Fast forward and within three years, I ascended through multiple promotions to join the select leadership circle of the entire organization — including not only the other leader that got the role I was passed over for, but the entire departments. My journey hopefully shows the truth about what can happen when we align our perspective with resilience — that our greatest moments of advancement are often born in those moments we may feel are our biggest challenges, provided we cultivate these challenges with the right mindset.
Three Ways to Turn Obstacles into Opportunities
- Reframe the Challenge — Instead of asking, “Why is this happening to me?” try being curious and using a learner mindset “What is it that this event has that I can learn from?” A simple shift in mindset — from judging to learning — can make all the difference.
- Detach from the Outcome — We often suffer not because of the situation itself but because of our expectations or perception of it. By focusing on effort over results, we can take control and reduce our stress at the same time.
- Take Action — Complaining about obstacles doesn’t move us forward, no thought, especially a negative one, does — only action does. Even a small step in the right direction can transform frustration into progress. Cause in the end, every journey forward has to begin with one step.
Final Thought: The Obstacle Is the Way
Next time you hit a roadblock, remember it’s not the event, obstacle, or roadblock that stops you. It’s the path that is guiding you forward, toward growth. The best things in life often come from what we once saw as a challenge. So, embrace the challenges, love your fate, and keep moving forward. Because the obstacles? They’re just opportunities waiting to be uncovered.