Have you ever noticed how people respond to your expectations, especially in leadership?
Consider how trust and belief in someone’s potential can shape their performance and character. Think about the times when someone believed in you — maybe they gave you a task that stretched your skills or trusted you with a big decision. Did you rise to meet their expectations? Now think about the opposite: when someone doubted you, micromanaged you, or expected you to fail. How did that make you feel?
These scenarios highlight an uncomfortable truth: people often live up to the stories we write for them, whether positive or negative. This is true for their personal growth and the dynamics within the team we create as leaders. When we project belief in someone’s potential, it fosters an environment of trust and collaboration. Conversely, if we allow doubt to creep in, it can stifle both individual progress and the overall cohesiveness of the team’s performance. As leaders, this truth is both a responsibility and an opportunity that we can control.
This concept aligns beautifully with Stoicism, a philosophy that emphasizes the power of leading with virtue. Marcus Aurelius, often called the last great Roman emperor, once wrote, “Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.” As a leader, this means showing up with integrity and embodying the virtues, or principles you want to inspire in your team. For example, demonstrating patience, understanding, or empathy in difficult moments can encourage others to adopt the same qualities and show that to others, creating a ripple effect of trust and collaboration within the team. In leadership, the same applies waste no time doubting the people you lead. Instead, show them the values and principles you want them to embody. In my experience, how you view and treat others sets the tone for their growth — and the culture you are trying to create.
Let me tell you a story to illustrate what I mean. It’s a story with a lesson: how our perceptions of others can either limit or elevate their potential, shaping not just individual growth but the culture as leaders we create. Years ago, I worked with an employee who struggled with punctuality. Let’s call him Jake. Every morning, Jake was five, sometimes ten minutes late, often calling in with a new excuse each time while he was on the way. It frustrated the team and, frankly, annoyed me. My first instinct was to label him: “Jake’s just unreliable, I can trust him.” Once that label stuck in my mind, I found myself starting to treat him differently. I’d assign tasks with tighter deadlines as if to try to “force” him to be punctual. You can probably guess what happened next. Jake’s lateness didn’t improve. It got worse.
It wasn’t until I sat down with him one-on-one that I realized the issue wasn’t laziness or disregard. But this took me as a leader owning the conversation, and my mistakes. It took me going to him, with empathy and an open mind to ask the questions. As I would come to find out, Jake had been caring for a sick parent and juggling responsibilities at home. It was a lot, and honestly not easy for him, and that is when I knew for him to be successful, it was my responsibility, and that started with me having to change.
When I finally gave him the benefit of the doubt and expressed genuine concern, empathy, and care something amazing happened. His demeanor began to change. We worked out a flexible schedule, and I started noticing his strengths — how he went above and beyond once he arrived, or how he mentored newer team members. Over time, Jake became one of our most dependable employees. All it took was a shift in my and how I saw him.
This experience taught me a lesson, one tied directly back to Stoicism: we control our perceptions. As Marcus Aurelius said in Meditations, “You have power over your mind — not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” Instead of jumping to conclusions or letting frustration cloud our judgment (usually by our emotions) , we can choose to see others with compassion and curiosity. When we do, we unlock their potential and strengthen our teams.
But here’s the catch: the opposite is also true. If you doubt someone, micromanage them, or assume the worst, they will feel it. They’ll rise to meet your low expectations, either by disengaging, underperforming, or mirroring your mistrust. This doesn’t just affect the individual; it ripples and sends waves through your culture. A team that senses doubt and negativity from its leader will adopt those same attitudes toward one another. And culture, as you know, is nothing more than the sum of these small, daily actions and interactions.